


Take A Dance on Me

by AgentStannerShipper



Series: Kinktober 2018 [16]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Lapdance, M/M, background Percilot, background merlahad, background roxlivia, coffee shop AU, eggsys a bit of an idiot, stripper!tequila, tequila is adorable, yeah its a stripper au pretending to be a coffee shop au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 02:56:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16317806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentStannerShipper/pseuds/AgentStannerShipper
Summary: There are a lot of things that Eggsy knows about Jesse, a regular customer at the coffee shop where he works. He's hot, he's American, he's unfailingly kind, and he tips really well.That he's also a stripper...now that's a surprise.





	Take A Dance on Me

**Author's Note:**

> Day sixteen was lapdance/striptease and well...I have seen Magic Mike. We always knew this was coming.
> 
> This fic has art! The incredibly talented akh-irr agreed to do a collab with me for this work, and what she's done is absolutely amazing. Check her out [here](http://akh-irr.tumblr.com/) or [here](https://akhsart.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> Also I like Mamma Mia and puns and I think I'm hilarious, so that's where the title comes from.

 

Eggsy wasn’t the sort of person who would admit aloud that any good had come from the disaster of V-day a few years ago, when toxic mobile phone components had gotten a whole mess of people sick with something that looked an awful lot like rabies, resulting in a lot of injury and death worldwide before the products had been recalled and the all the leaders of the corporation responsible for cutting corners in their design had been thrown into prison. He was even less likely to say anything good had come out of the recent drug contamination that had resulted in mass deaths, particularly around his neighbourhood, before anyone had managed to find a cure for it (and which, Eggsy noted bitterly, his part of town had still been one of the last places in the country to get the necessary treatment for, despite the overwhelming need). Too many people had died or been hurt or had their lives turned completely upside-down for him to admit that there had been any benefits at all.

But even if he wouldn’t say it aloud, there had been some benefits. Dean’s death was one. His new job was another.

In the months following both events, labour shortages had caused local businesses to open their doors to potential employees who wouldn’t have been considered before. After V-day, Eggsy had taken on a temporary job doing stock for a little corner store, and after the Poppy-pocalypse he’d picked himself up a nice little thing at a coffee shop a good ten minutes away from the estates. The commute was longer but the pay was better, and Eggsy enjoyed the work a lot more.

He’d been working there for two days when the hottest guy he’d ever seen walked through the door. Eggsy wasn’t exactly tiny, and the freerunning and parkour he liked to do in his free time kept him fit, but this guy dwarfed him easily, over six feet tall and with broad shoulders barely contained by the jean jacket he was wearing. He had sandy-brown hair and a chiselled jawline, and he was wearing a pair of brown leather gloves to guard against the cold. He pulled them off as he stepped into the shop, drawing Eggsy’s eyes to his huge hands.

“Shut your mouth,” one of his co-workers, a girl named Amelia snorted. “You’ll catch flies like that.”

“I think I’m in love.”

She rolled her eyes, laughing. “Yeah, you and everybody else who works here.” She nudged Eggsy as the man approached the counter. “I’ll let him introduce himself.”

Eggsy didn’t have time to panic before the man was in front of them, leaning against the counter with a friendly grin. “You’re new.”

“Er…”

He stuck his hand out, “I’m Jesse.”

“Eggsy.” But Eggsy didn’t make a move to take Jesse’s hand. He was transfixed by the accent, thickly American south, like something out of an old Western film.

Jesse’s face fell a little, and he started to withdraw. Shaking himself, Eggsy surged forward, grabbing Jesse’s hand probably a bit too hard. “Sorry. Hi. You’re American.”

Jesse looked surprised for a split second before he broke out into a grin and started laughing. Amelia snickered too, and Eggsy shot her a look. “What gave it away?” Jesse teased. “Yeah, I’m from Kentucky. Just moved here about a month ago.”

“And he’s been one of our best regulars ever since,” Amelia said. “Same as usual, Jesse?”

“Yes, please, ma’am.”

“One large black coffee, coming right up.”

As she set out to make the coffee, Eggsy watched Jesse, who seemed completely nonchalant, still leaning against the counter. “We missed you the other day,” Amelia called over her shoulder. “You missed Eggsy’s first day.”

Jesse glanced at Eggsy apologetically, which made approximately zero sense, since Eggsy and Jesse didn’t know each other. “Sorry, Amelia. Something came up, had to skip the coffee break. Damn near broke my heart, but you know how it is.”

“The Harts still working you to the bone?”

“Well, they gotta show me the ropes, don’t they? Huntsman’s got a reputation, and they can’t have some foreigner coming in and messing that up, can they?” He didn’t even sound sarcastic about it.

“Huntsman?” Eggsy asked, finding his voice again. “What’s that?”

“Tailor shop over on Savile Row,” Jesse explained. “It’s why I’m in London instead of stateside. I was having a bit of a tough time back home. Old friend of the family thought it might be good to uproot me for a while, and he had some business connections with the shop, so he recommended me for the position.”

“So you’re a tailor?”

“Mostly I just fetch what they need and keep out from underfoot, but yeah, I’m a tailor. Or I’m apprenticing to be one, anyway.” Jesse smiled at him, sweet and lopsided and yeah, Eggsy was a little bit in love. “What about you? How’d you end up here?”

“The Poppy-pocalypse. Spot opened up, I took it.”

Jesse snorted. “Is that what they’re calling that drug thing that went down?”

Eggsy shrugged. “I guess so?” He didn’t really get the name either.

Amelia set Jesse’s drink down on the counter. “There you go. One black coffee.”

“Thank you kindly.” Jesse fished a note out of his pocket and Eggsy made change, which Jesse promptly dumped into the tip jar. He raised the coffee at them in a kind of salute. “It was great talking to you, Amelia. Pleasure to meet you, Eggsy.”

“See you around, Jesse,” Amelia called as he left.

When the door swung shut, bell still tinkling, Eggsy rounded on her. “What was that all about?”

Amelia shrugged, unconcerned. “He’s friendly.”

“Yeah, I got that.”

Amelia went back to wiping down the counter. “I don’t know,” she said. “He’s just nice, is all. He comes in pretty much every day, and he always gets the same thing: large black coffee with nothing in it. Always pays in cash, always drops the change in the tip jar, and always makes time to chat with whoever’s working, ‘cause he usually comes in when we’re not busy.”

“Isn’t that kind of creepy?” Eggsy asked.

Amelia raised her eyebrows. “Eggsy, he’s a hot American. He says please and thank you, he actually looks us in the face and not the chest when we talk, and he actually listens and remembers what we say. He knows the names of most of my family members  _ and  _ my girlfriend. That’s about as good as it gets.”

***

Eggsy looked up at the bell over the door rang. “Oh. Hey, Jesse.”

He’d been here two weeks now, and Amelia hadn’t been kidding. Every day Eggsy had been in, Jesse had shown up, and no matter who Eggsy had been working with, Jesse had gotten all of their names right without even blinking. He asked Dotty if her dog was feeling better and listened to Martin talk about a new comic book he’d found for his collection, and he’d always put his change into the tip jar. Every time. That made him just about a saint in Eggsy’s book.

And he didn’t flirt, either. Once, after he’d left, Dotty had sighed and said, “I wish he wasn’t quite such a gentleman sometimes. Figures that the one guy you wouldn’t mind being into you is the one with the ‘good Southern manners.’”

Eggsy had laughed, but mentally he’d agreed.

Today, though, Eggsy was alone. Amelia had been on shift with him, but she was on a late lunch break because her girlfriend had stopped by, and Eggsy assured her he could hold down the fort. Jesse glanced around as he sauntered up to the counter, hip cocked out as he leaned against it like usual. “Awful quiet in here today.”

“Amelia will be back soon,” Eggsy said. “And you’re here now. That’s plenty noise for me.”

He was rewarded with one of Jesse’s lopsided grins. “How’s Daisy?” he asked. “She still growing like a weed?”

“I swear, bruv, it’s like she’s taking steroids or some shit. How fast is babies supposed to grow anyway?”

Jesse laughed. “You’re telling me. I got about a dozen baby cousins, except none of them are babies no more, and I can’t figure out when that happened. It goes real fast.”

“It sure does. Black coffee?”

“Thank you kindly.”

Eggsy turned to get it, grateful he didn’t have to fiddle with one of the fancy machines. He swore they hated him some days, and he wasn’t especially fond of them either. Coffee didn’t need too much extra bullshit. He took his just like Jesse, except with a couple of sugars too.

He turned back around, setting the cup on the counter and mirroring Jesse’s pose. “What about you? How’s the tailor shop?”

Jesse shrugged. “Same old, same old. Harry fusses and Merlin glares. But I think they’re warming up to me.”

“That’s good.”

Jesse nodded. He took a sip of his coffee. “Mmm. I swear, somehow it’s always better when you make it.” He pulled out his wallet and slid Eggsy the bill.

Eggsy made his change and passed it back. “I’m pretty much just pouring from a pot, you know. Same as everybody else.”

Jesse grinned and put the change in the tip jar. “And that’s why I can’t figure it out.” He winked, and Eggsy’s heart skipped a beat.

The bell over the door rang, and Eggsy jumped. Jesse glanced back and smiled. “Hey, Amelia.”

“Hey, Jesse,” she said.

“Out with the girlfriend?”

“How’d you guess?”

“Saw her car out front.”

Amelia pulled her apron back on, joining Eggsy behind the counter. “Should I be worried that you remember what her car looks like?”

“No, ma’am,” Jesse assured her, eyes wide in spite of her teasing tone. “Just have a good memory, is all.” He glanced at Eggsy. “I should get going. I’ll be seeing you.”

Amelia waved, but the moment Jesse was out the door Eggsy turned to her. “I swear, you’ve got shit timing.”

She blinked. “Huh?”

“I’m pretty sure he was flirting with me, but then you walked in, so now I can’t be sure.”

Amelia looked sceptical. “Eggsy, I know you’ve got a mad crush on him, but are you sure you’re not just projecting?”

“He winked at me.”

She blinked. “Come again? He  _ winked _ at you.”

“Swear down.” That was a thing, right? Blokes didn’t go around winking at each other unless it meant something.

“I take it back,” Amelia said. “Pretty sure that’s not projecting.”

Elation bubbled up in Eggsy for about two seconds, before reality popped it. “I don’t even know if he’s into blokes. What if it’s just some American thing and I’m reading into it?”

“Eggsy, sweetie.” Amelia put her hands on his shoulders and stared directly into his eyes. “There’s a very simple solution.”

“What’s that?”

“Ask him out.”

Eggsy shook her off. “No way! I ain’t risking asking out a straight guy. Last time I did that, I got punched, and I’m pretty sure Jesse could knock me out in one swing.”

“Jesse doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to lash out just because a guy asks him on a date.”

“Neither did that other guy,” Eggsy grumbled.

Amelia groaned. “Fine. Don’t ask him. Wait to be sure, or whatever. But don’t come crying to me if he decides he’s into someone else while you’re busy playing guessing games.”

Eggsy shot a vulgar gesture her way and got swatted with a dish towel.

***

“Can I ask you a question?” Eggsy asked.

Jesse looked up at him, blinking over the lid of his coffee cup. “Sure?” He set it down, along with his money.

Eggsy reached for it absentmindedly, not even needing to count to get the exact change after nearly a month of this. “A couple weeks ago,” he started, “we were talking and…you said something about my coffee being better than anyone else’s and…” He glanced up, and his tongue promptly tangled up and refused to finish the sentence. Jesse was watching him intently, and when Eggsy didn’t continue he frowned.

“What about it?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Eggsy said, handing him back his change. “Just needed the ego boost today.” He tried for a cheeky grin.

It must not have worked, because Jesse didn’t let go of his hand. “Have I done something wrong?”

“What? No!” The words were belied by the way he jerked his hand back. “You didn’t do anything.”

Jesse set the change down on the counter, and Eggsy stared at the little pile of coins. He glanced up at Jesse again, who was still frowning. “Kind of seems like I did, though.”

At the other end of the counter, Eggsy could feel Dotty watching them. He turned to her. “Dots, can I go on break now?”

“Sure.” She sounded a touch disappointed at losing the show, but Eggsy didn’t care. He tore off his apron and rounded the counter, jerking his head towards the door.

Jesse followed him outside, and Eggsy ducked around the corner into the little alleyway next to the shop. He stopped, and Jesse almost ran into him.

“Right,” Eggsy said. “Let’s talk.”

Jesse glanced around. “We couldn’t talk inside?”

“If you punch me while I’m on the clock, I’m pretty sure we can ban you from the shop. Plus Dotty was watching, and I don’t really need an audience if I crash and burn here.”

Jesse blinked and took a step back. “Why would I punch you?” He tilted his head, “Also, if I punched you, wouldn’t I deserve to be banned from the shop? That seems like kind of a dick move-“

“Are you gay?”

Jesse’s eyebrows shot halfway up his forehead. “What?”

“Or bi or whatever. Do you like guys? Because I could swear you’ve been flirting with me, but I have no idea if I’m misreading it because I  _ want _ you to be flirting with me or if it’s a real thing or what and if I’m wrong I’d really like it if you didn’t hit me.”

“Eggsy, I’m not gonna hit you.” Jesse sounded a little offended, but Eggsy couldn’t tell what the cause was yet. He took a step forward, and Eggsy braced himself. Jesse immediately froze and cursed. “Jesus, Eggsy, I said I wasn’t gonna hit you.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“Are you really that scared of me?” Jesse looked concerned, and Eggsy immediately felt bad.

“It ain’t you,” he said. “Just…a couple guys didn’t take it so well when I asked. I was hoping you wouldn’t be like that, but you never know.”

Jesse reached out and put a hand on Eggsy’s arm, and Eggsy startled at the contact. Jesse’s expression was incredibly earnest as he said, “I ain’t like that, Eggsy, I promise. And I am. Bi, I mean. Well…” He tilted his head, considering, and then shrugged. “I’m not sure. Bi or pan, probably. Never really looked that much into it. I like everybody. But mostly right now I like you.”

Eggsy forgot how to breathe. Jesse rubbed the back of his neck, looking suddenly shy. “I’ve been meaning to say something for a while, but I didn’t want to seem to forward, you know? But if you wanted to, we could maybe go out sometime? Get a drink or something?”

Eggsy continued to gape at him, and Jesse must have taken the silence as a negative because he physically shrank in on himself, his shoulder hunching as he said quickly, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“

“Wait!” Eggsy yelped. Jesse paused, and Eggsy managed to find his tongue again. “I’d love that. Yeah. Going out with you.”

“Really?” The smile was back, and it was beautiful.

Eggsy nodded, possibly a bit too enthusiastically, but he didn’t care, because Jesse had just asked him out.  _ Him _ . He blinked. “Wait,” he said again. “Take me out like mates, or take me out like  _ take me out _ ?”

Jesse raised his eyebrows, and Eggsy blushed. “I’m just checking!”

“I said I liked you, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, I know, but…”

Jesse shook his head, still grinning. “The second one,” he said. “Like a date. Assuming you’re interested?”

“Very interested. ‘Cause you’re really, _really_ hot, and I’m real bi, and you’re sweet and funny and I’m into it and…” He flushed deeper and shuffled his feet, “And, now that I’ve made myself sound like a desperate loser…”

Jesse laughed. “You free on Thursday?”

“I’m picking up Amelia’s morning shift, but I’m free all afternoon. Can’t stay out too late though, I’m having dinner with my mum and sister.”

“Perfect,” Jesse said. He pulled a pen out of his jacket pocket and took Eggsy’s hand.

“What are you-“

“I’m pretty sure your phone’s in the backroom and I accidentally left mine at the shop when I went out today. So, unless you don’t want my number…?” Jesse teased.

“No!” Eggsy said quickly. “I want it.” He held still and allowed Jesse to scribble it onto his hand. “Should I give you mine too?”

“Can’t hurt.” Jesse handed over the pen, and there was something incredibly satisfying about leaving a mark on Jesse’s skin, even a temporary one. “Alright,” Jesse said. “I’ve got to run now. Gotta get back to work. Text me when you’re done, and we’ll set something up for Thursday?”

“Yeah, sure thing,” Eggsy nodded. Jesse grinned, saluting him with his coffee, and walked away, out of the alleyway and onto the pavement. He was whistling, and Eggsy was very glad that he was alone because it meant no witnesses to his embarrassingly excited fist pump.

When he walked back into the coffee shop, Dotty looked disappointed that he was returning alone. “Jesse gone, then?”

“Yeah, he’s gone.” Eggsy could feel the smile contorting his face, and Dotty raised her eyebrows.

“Your talk went well, I take it?”

The jubilation burst out before Eggsy could rein it in. “He asked me out!”

“Typical,” Dotty said, but even through the air of irritation her voice was fond. “The hot guy always passes you over for the younger blond.”

“You’re only a year older than me,” Eggsy shot back, retying his apron as he joined her behind the counter again.

Dotty reached over and ruffled his hair. “And yet I’m so much more mature.”

Eggsy stuck his tongue out at her, sliding Jesse’s change off the counter and tossing it into the tip jar. Dotty laughed.

***

Waiting for his shift to be over was torture. Eggsy had never thought of himself as tied to his phone, but now it was like there was a physical cord between him and the device, and the longer he was away from it the more he ached to get his hands on it.

Dotty made a snarky comment at his back as he clocked out and scampered for the backroom, but Eggsy didn’t even care. He made a beeline for his bag, digging his phone out of it and plugging in Jesse’s number. He shot off a quick text, and then headed out in the direction of home.

It took less than a minute for Jesse to text back.

_ You off the clock for the night? – J _

_ Yeah, just left. Heading home now – E _

_ Where do u want to go on Thursday? – E _

_ There’s a bar not far from where I work. Thought we could meet up there. – J _

_ Sounds good. Text me the address? – E _

_ Will do. – J _

Eggsy lingered on the chat screen, staring at the short interaction and wincing. He thought for a moment, and then sent another text.

_ U still at work? – E _

_ Finished at Huntsman. Going to my other job. – J _

_ Other job? – E _

_ I didn’t know u had another job – E _

_ What is it? – E _

The response took a long time, long enough that Eggsy regretted asking, wondering if he was being nosy. He was about to send an apology text when the answer came through.

_ I’m gonna be late. I’ll tell you about it on Thursday, alright? – J _

Not the most encouraging answer, but one Eggsy could live with. He smiled.

_ Sounds like a plan. Night Jesse – E _

_ See you Thursday ;) – J _

It was followed by an address, presumably for the pub, and Eggsy’s grin widened. Yeah, he could live with that.

***

The pub was in a more upscale part of town, and even after three outfit changes Eggsy still worried he was underdressed. He’d debated if a polo was classy enough for nearly an hour and had finally gone with a blue button-down and slacks, just to be on the safe side.

He arrived early, but still had to wait less than a minute, catching sight of Jesse getting out of a cab. He was in a button-down too, but he’d paired it with jeans and his denim jacket, and the top few buttons of the shirt were open. He looked casual, relaxed, and Eggsy felt himself relax too.

“Hey, there,” Jesse greeted him. “Didn’t expect to see you here so early.”

“Didn’t want to miss a minute of this,” Eggsy said. “Been dreaming about this for weeks.”

“Oh really?” Jesse teased. “As it happens, so have I.” He leaned in, and to Eggsy’s delight planted a brief kiss on his cheek. “You find the place okay?”

“Yeah. It’s kind of fancy.”

Jesse must have heard the uncertainty in Eggsy’s voice because he reassured him, “Don’t worry, it only looks like that on the outside. Let’s go in.”

Much to Eggsy’s relief, Jesse was right. The pub’s interior looked an awful lot like Eggsy’s local, The Black Prince, if a bit cleaner, and the patrons didn’t exactly look like business elite. Eggsy relaxed, and Jesse signalled the bartender and steered Eggsy towards one of the booths at the back.

“You just sit tight,” Jesse told him, still standing as Eggsy slid into the booth. “What do you want to drink?”

Eggsy deliberated for a moment, and then said, “Jack and Coke?”

Jesse nodded, “Sure thing.” He sauntered over to the bar. Eggsy watched him, and although he was too far away to hear, it was clear Jesse and the bartender knew each other. Not surprisingly, really, given the way Jesse interacted with everyone at the coffee shop. 

He came back with the drinks, a Jack and Coke for Eggsy and something electric blue with an umbrella and an orange wedge for himself. At Eggsy’s raised eyebrows, he grinned, sliding into the booth across from him. “It’s called a Blue Lagoon, and it’s delicious.”

“It looks like Smurf piss.”

“You’re just jealous that I’m secure enough in my masculinity to order a drink that comes with fruit,” Jesse teased. He took a sip, then let out an exaggerated sigh. “Mmm. That’s the stuff.”

“Dork.”

They both laughed. Jesse looked shyly up at him from under his eyelashes. He took another sip of the bright blue drink, and Eggsy couldn’t help but wonder if it’d stain his tongue like a popsicle. He curled his fingers around his own glass, and Jesse offered his out for a toast.

“Cheers, mate,” Eggsy said, clinking them together.

As Eggsy took a drink, Jesse set his down. His playful expression was gone, and he didn’t quite meet Eggsy’s eyes. “I like you,” he told Eggsy. “A lot.”

“I kind of figured,” Eggsy joked, but he sobered when Jesse didn’t smile. “I mean, we established that pretty clearly. That’s why you asked me out, innit?”

Jesse nodded. “Yeah. And I’d like to do it again, but before anything else happens between us there’s something I gotta tell you.”

“You ain’t dying, are you?”

Jesse barked out a surprised laugh, looking up at Eggsy, his brow furrowed with incredulousness. “What? No. No, I’m fine. It’s not that kind of thing.”

Eggsy cocked his head, setting his drink down and leaning back in his seat. “You got like, HIV or something?”

“No.”

“Part of a gang?”

Another laugh. “No, Eggsy, I’m not part of a gang.” Jesse shook his head. “Just…let me talk, alright?”

Eggsy nodded. “Yeah, alright.” He crossed his arms, then thought better of it and set them on the table, toying with his glass. “I’m listening.”

“It’s about what I do,” Jesse started. “Not the tailoring thing. The other job.” At Eggsy’s expression, he added, “It ain’t nothing illegal, I swear. Just…I did it in the states too, before I came here, and sometimes when I dated people, they didn’t like it. What I did.”

Eggsy shifted nervously. “Alright.” He swallowed. “Could you maybe just tell me? The suspense is killing me, bruv.”

“I’m a stripper.”

Eggsy blinked. Then he blinked again. His tongue reconnected to his brain. “Sorry, what?”

Jesse rubbed the back of his neck. His eyes flicked between Eggsy and the table, like holding prolonged eye contact was painful. “I’m a stripper,” he repeated. “Like an exotic dancer? When I’m not working at Huntsman, there’s this joint a couple blocks away, and I go there, and I do, you know, routines and shit. Most of it’s dancing, stage stuff. Honestly, it’s nicer than the way these places run in America, or at least in my neck of the woods. It’s pretty much just an upscale bar, except the entertainment takes their clothes off for you. I work the floor a lot of nights, though, lap dances and stuff. And sometimes people’ll pay to take you into one of the back rooms for a private show.”

The way he laid it out was matter-of-fact, which was helpful, considering Eggsy was half-convinced he was having a stroke. “You’re a stripper,” he repeated, and Jesse winced at his incredulous tone. “A stripper. You help a pair of old blokes make suits during the day, and then at night you take your clothes off and shake your arse at people until they give you money.”

Jesse’s grip on his glass was so tight, Eggsy was surprised it didn’t shatter. “That about sums it up,” he muttered, and Eggsy realized his mistake.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, and Jesse looked up at him and frowned. Eggsy reached out a hand and set it on Jesse’s wrist. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I shouldn’t have…it was bollocks of me to say it like that. You caught me out, is all. Wasn’t expecting something like that.”

Jesse let out a soft, self-deprecating chuckle. “It’s alright. Better than being punched.”

Eggsy flinched, snatching his hand back and curling it around the edge of the table instead. “People have done that?”

“Well, I’ve never been punched,” Jesse allowed. “Been slapped by two different girlfriends though. Those relationships didn’t last too long after that.”

“Shit, I’m sorry.”

Jesse shrugged. “You get used to it. It’s hot in porn, and shit I guess. Banging a stripper, I mean. Some people get kind of excited when I tell them, think it’s hot. But sooner or later, people get bitter. They want me to quit, think it’s like cheating ‘cause other people are watching me. Accuse me of doing shit in the back rooms or whatever.”

“Do you?”

The look Jesse shot his was part offended, part exasperated. “That ain’t allowed. Wasn’t even allowed back at the place I used to work, and that place was a shit show. Nah, the customers ain’t allowed to touch me, and I don’t let them.”

“Right,” Eggsy looked away. “Sorry,” he said again.

“You don’t need to keep apologizing.”

“Yeah, I do,” Eggsy sighed. “Cause I’m taking this all wrong, ain’t I? I’m supposed to be cool with it, right? Not come across all eager and shit, but not fucking slapping you in the face because you happen to have a job I’m not a fan of.”

“You don’t like it.” It wasn’t a question.

“I don’t know,” Eggsy admitted. “It ain’t something I ever really had to think about, you get me? So I don’t know what I think.” He looked up at Jesse, and with more confidence continued, “But I do know I like you. Alright? And that doesn’t change because I’m confused as fuck about how I feel about one part of you, because of your job. I just…”

“You need to think about it?” Jesse finished. He sounded defeated.

“Yeah,” Eggsy said. He reached for Jesse’s hand again, and he squeezed it. “Hey. I just need to think. It don’t mean I’m saying no.”

“You might.”

“And I might not,” Eggsy countered. “Just…please? Let me think about it? ‘Cause I know that if I give you an answer right now, we’re both gonna be miserable in the long run.”

Jesse nodded. “Yeah. I know. An’ I get it. Just don’t take too long, please? I don’t…” He swallowed hard. “I don’t want to hold out hoping if you’re just gonna break my heart in the long run.”

“Okay,” Eggsy agreed. His throat wasn’t working properly, his tongue thick and swollen. He pulled away, and winced when Jesse downed half his Blue Lagoon in one swallow. He nursed his Jack and Coke for a minute, and then said, “I think I should go.”

“Okay.”

Eggsy stood up. He looked at the half-empty drink, and then at Jesse again. “Hey. Text me if you need anything, yeah? Promise I’ll answer.”

“Sure,” Jesse said, and Eggsy couldn’t tell if he was trying to placate him or not. He hesitated a moment longer, and then awkwardly made his way towards the door.

He made it all the way to his tiny flat before his legs stopped working. He slid down the front door, closing it with a click behind him as he sank with a thump, resting his head in his hands.

“Fuck,” he cursed to no one in particular.

He didn’t have anyone he could talk to about this. It clearly wasn’t common knowledge at work – Eggsy was pretty sure Amelia or Dotty would have mentioned if they knew Jesse was a stripper – and Eggsy wasn’t about to be the wanker who spilled the beans about something private like that. He couldn’t really go to his mates, partially because he was pretty sure they were all busy doing their own shit and partly because he knew what they’d say about him potentially dating a stripper. There’d be a lot of ‘good on you, mate,’ and some laughing and good-natured heckling, and Eggsy would be left still uncertain and probably a little embarrassed.

The only other option was his mum, and there was no way in hell Eggsy was going to tell her about the situation with Jesse.

Which meant he was on his own.

“Fuck,” he told the air again. He lifted his head from his hands and thunked it back against the wooden door. “Shit.”

He eventually made it to bed, but staring at the ceiling trumped sleep, and he was still awake when his phone chimed at two in the morning with a text message.

_ Just got off of work. - J _

Eggsy stared at it. He had no idea how to respond to that. Another one followed.

_ Was thinking about you. About our talk. – J _

_ I’m still thinking – E _

_ I know. – J _

_ I’m sorry. – J _

_ U don’t got to apologize – E _

There was a long pause, and Eggsy’s thumbs hovered over the keyboard as he tried to figure out what to say next. Eventually, Jesse beat him to it.

_ I just wanted to say goodnight. Didn’t want to leave things like that today. – J _

Eggsy breathed a sigh of relief, a tiny smile gracing his lips.

_ Goodnight, then. Sweet dreams, Jesse – E _

_ Goodnight, Eggsy. – J _

Eggsy set his phone aside, and as if that was all his brain had been waiting for, almost instantly fell asleep.

***

“How’d your date go?” Amelia called to him as he came in. “You get any?”

Eggsy pulled a face. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Amelia followed him into the backroom, her eyes wide. “Don’t tell me. He’s shit in bed, isn’t he?” She shook her head in disappointment. “The pretty one always are.”

“No, that ain’t it,” Eggsy huffed. He threw his jacket into his cubby and dropped his phone on top of it, grabbing his apron and tying it on.

“Then what?” Amelia tilted her head. “His cock doesn’t measure up to his hands?”

Eggsy rounded on her. “I said I don’t want to talk about it!”

She took a step back, holding her hands up in surrender, and Eggsy sighed. “I’m sorry. We didn’t have sex, alright? He told me something kind of personal, and I freaked out a little, and I told him I’d have to think about it before I went out with him again. That’s all.”

“Oh.” Amelia looked apologetic. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too.” Eggsy jerked his head towards the door. “Come on. This place ain’t gonna open itself.”

Jesse didn’t show up.

***

_ How was work? At the tailors, I mean – E _

_ Fine. Why? – J _

_ U didn’t come in today. Thought something might be up – E _

_ I figured you wouldn’t want me hanging around. Thought it’d be better to find a new place for a couple days. – J _

_ Bollocks to that – E _

_ Sorry. I mean, we’re adults, right? – E _

_ I can handle seeing u at work – E _

_ Besides. I missed u – E _

_ You did? – J _

_ Yeah – E _

_ Look, I still don’t know how I feel about the whole thing. But I do still like u. And it’s kind of fucking me up, and I’m sorry I can’t just say it’s okay and shit – E _

_ Don’t be. I’d rather you take a couple days to figure it out than have to find out because you’re breaking up with me a couple months down the road. – J _

_ I’ll swing by the shop tomorrow on my break. Are you working? – J _

_ Not tomorrow. Day after though – E _

_ You sure it won’t be weird to see me? – J _

_ Might be a bit. Worth it though ;) – E _

_ Goodnight, Eggsy – J _

_ Night Jesse – E _

***

Eggsy looked up as the bell rang. Jesse’s shoulders were hunched, his head ducked. He was wearing the jean jacket and the gloves again, and he pulled the latter off and stuck them in his pocket as the door swung closed behind him.

Martin was the one working shift with Eggsy today, and he didn’t appear to notice anything wrong. “Hey Jesse! The usual?”

“Thanks, Martin,” Jesse said. He stopped a few feet back from the counter, fidgeting with the buttons on his jacket. Every now and again he reached up and tugged at the collar of his shirt, like it was choking him. He didn’t look at Eggsy. “How was comic con?”

Martin launched into a tirade about line lengths and appearance cancellations, and Eggsy watched Jesse squirm. He pushed off from the counter suddenly, grabbing a broom and moving to the other side, making a half-hearted attempt at sweeping and watching as Jesse shied away from him.

Eggsy stopped and leaned against the broom, and at a pause from Martin said, “How’re Harry and Merlin, Jesse?”

Martin and Jesse both looked towards him, surprised. Eggsy lifted his chin and raised his eyebrows.

“They’re good,” Jesse managed. “Same as always.” He gave Eggsy a small, confused smile.

Eggsy set the broom aside and untied his apron. “I’m going on break, Martin.”

“Um…”

Jesse set his money on the counter and took the coffee from Martin’s hand. “Keep the change, okay? And congrats on meeting Tennant.” Then he followed Eggsy outside. “What, no alleyway this time?”

“I don’t bite, you know.”

Jesse blinked, taken aback, and Eggsy continued, “I get things are a little awkward right now, but you look afraid of coming within five feet of me. Swear I don’t bite.” He took a step towards Jesse, into his space. Jesse swallowed hard, but he didn’t move away.

Little wisps of heat were drifting off the coffee and from their mouths, visible in the cool air, and when Eggsy took Jesse’s free hand it was icy. He threaded their fingers together. “I want this,” he murmured. “Been thinking a lot, the past couple of days. I’m…I’m still a little weirded out by the idea, to be honest, but I’m okay with it. I promise.”

“You think it’s weird, but you want to go out with me anyway?”

“Yeah, I think it’s a bit weird that my almost forty-year-old kind-of boyfriend is a stripper,” Eggsy said, keeping his voice light in the hopes that Jesse would get he was teasing. Jesse flushed, but he didn’t look quite so uncomfortable, so Eggsy called it a win. “But I also think I like him a lot, and I’d be really fucking stupid to let him get away from me.”

Jesse’s blush deepened, and he tucked his chin. “Come watch me dance.”

“What?”

Jesse straighten up, a determined look in his eye. “Come to the club tonight. It’s a weeknight, so it won’t be too busy, and you can see what I do.”

Eggsy faltered. “I’m not…I’m not sure that’s the best idea.” It was one thing to be okay with the idea in theory, and another to be confronted with it in the real world.

But Jesse looked oddly eager. “You said it’s weird. But you haven’t seen what it’s like. So come tonight. Watch me work. Then decide. If you still think it’s weird, then…we’ll see. But if you don’t…”

Eggsy’s mouth was dry. “Yeah,” he finally agreed. “Okay. What’s the place called?”

***

He couldn’t believe he was doing this. Strip clubs had never been his thing. Honestly, he couldn’t remember even  _ seeing  _ a strip club before he was probably twenty or so, and he’d never been inside one. As he stood outside of this one, staring up at the tasteful sign proclaiming it  _ The Chelsea Club _ , he had to admit it didn’t look anything like he’d imagined. Everything Eggsy knew about strip clubs pretty much came from American films: big neon signs announcing that there were hot naked girls inside, whether with words or images. A dingy exterior with a bouncer to keep out trouble. Maybe some inflatable tits in the papered-over windows. Probably drugs in the back.

Instead it looked like a classy restaurant. The windows were huge, but they were tinted dark, preventing people from peering in. There did appear to be a bouncer inside, but she looked more like a maître d’ than anything else; about Eggsy’s age, relatively short, and dressed in a sharp suit that didn’t give any indication of an especially muscular frame. There were no neon signs, just sleek black and white lettering, there were definitely no tits on display, and while Eggsy couldn’t speak to the drugs idea, the Poppy-pocalypse had cut drug use, at least in more upscale areas, by a lot.

Eggsy swallowed around the lump in his throat, straightening his suit jacket, and pushed open the door.

He’d asked Jesse about the dress code and Jesse had told him to dress as nice as he could, so Eggsy had opted for a blazer open over a button-down and his slacks. He’d tried on his only pair of dress shoes, but they had been way too small – probably because he hadn’t worn them since his baby sister’s christening a couple years ago – so he’d picked out his nicest white winged trainers instead, praying that they’d be good enough for this place. The blazer was a bit too small too, pinching at his shoulders and elbows a bit when he stretched. He kept his arms firmly by his side and tried to smile.

The bouncer gave him a once-over and shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

“I’ve got a reservation,” Eggsy said quickly, hoping he didn’t sound too desperate. That was all he needed, to sound like a teenager, so desperate to see some action that he was willing to pay for it.

The bouncer raised her eyebrows, but as she opened her mouth, Jesse came bounding in the door. “Eggsy! You’re early!”

“You know him?” the bouncer asked before Eggsy could reply.

Jesse nodded. “It’s cool, Olivia. He’s with me.”

Olivia looked sceptical, and she glanced back and forth between Eggsy and Jesse, eyebrow lifted. Eggsy slid a little closer to Jesse, whose expression didn’t change as he slung an arm around Eggsy’s waist. Still smiling pleasantly, he nodded at Olivia and steered Eggsy into the club.

The inside was just as nice as the outside, with low blue lighting and a series of booths and tables surrounding an oblong centre stage, connected to the wall by a thin catwalk-style platform. There was a pole on either end of the oval, but there was no one on them, and the stage was empty. A smattering of people were seated at tables around the room, and when Eggsy glanced right he saw that there were more people along the sleek black bar. They were all dressed in suits, most of them three-piece, and Eggsy tugged on the ends of his blazer, feeling completely underdressed.

As if reading his mind, Jesse said, “Don’t worry about it. Nobody’s here to watch you.”

Eggsy gave Jesse a once-over. He was dressed the same as ever; denim jacket, button-down, jeans. Catching Eggsy’s eye, Jesse grinned. “I don’t wear this on stage. The show won’t start for another half an hour, so I’ve got plenty of time to get ready backstage. Now, do you want front of the house, or tucked away in the back somewhere?”

“Er…” Eggsy glanced around the room again. “Towards the back, I guess?”

“How ‘bout over there?” Jesse pointed towards a cluster of booths, closer to the stage but with high sides and backs, blocking most of the table from unwanted eyes. “Great view, and you don’t have to worry about people trying to stare at you.”

“Sounds good.”

As Jesse led him over, he shot Eggsy a sideways glance. “You seem to be taking all this pretty well.” ‘Unlike last time,’ went unspoken.

Eggsy shrugged. “Honestly? I’m kind of freaking out on the inside. Not really my kind of joint, you know?”

Jesse laughed. “I didn’t think so either. Thought it might be a bit too classy for me. I never worked a club this nice back home. But I showed them my moves, and they seemed to like them, so they hired me. And I love it here.”

He did seem in his element. Jesse was an easy-going guy in general, but Eggsy had never seen him so relaxed. Eggsy slid into the booth, shrugging out of his blazer because who was going to give a fuck right now? Jesse leaned his hip against the table and gave Eggsy a small smile. “I’m really glad you came.”

Eggsy’s returning smile was a little shakier. “Me too. I think.”

Jesse bent down and kissed his cheek. “I go on third. Then I get a break to cool down and change, and then floor rotation starts. I’ll see you then, alright?”

Eggsy fought the urge to touch his cheek where Jesse’s lips had been. “Yeah, alright. See you then.”

“Oh, and if you want to get something to eat, go for it. The drinks are great here and the food ain’t half bad. Don’t worry about the price, I’ll take care of it.”

“Thanks, mate, but I ain’t looking for a sugar daddy.” But he cracked a smile. “I am kind of hungry, though, so we’ll see. Promise I won’t order anything too pricey.”

“Fair enough.” Jesse shot him a last smile and a wink, and then he headed over to the bar, greeting the bartender and disappearing through the back door. Eggsy watched him go, and then slumped down in his seat.

A waiter did eventually come to take his order. Eggsy didn’t know why he’d expected them all to be topless or some shit, but they were all in classic tuxedos instead. He got some fancy fried onion thing and picked at it nervously. He decided to skip the drink. As much as a light buzz could have taken the edge off, he wanted to be sober for this.

Eventually, though, the lights dimmed even lower, accentuating the blue glow, and the stage lit up bright white. From speakers somewhere, an MC’s voice spoke up, sweet and low. “Welcome, friends, to The Chelsea Club. My name is Morgana, and I’ll be your host for this evening. We’ve got some gorgeous acts for you tonight, men and women so beautiful you may want to weep, but remember: you can look, but you can’t touch. But you didn’t pay to hear me talk, so we’re going to start out with some easy listening for you. First up, we’ve got our darling and our demon, Michael and Lucifer.”

Eggsy leaned forward, curious, as the blue light burst into white and red and soft music started to thrum. Two men stepped onto the stage, one expressionless and clad in a snow-white suit, the other grinning and suited in cherry red. They worked in tandem, almost mirror images of each other as they stalked to either end of the stage, swinging briefly around the poles. The man in red, presumably Lucifer, threw a cheeky wink over his shoulder as he grabbed it with both hands and gyrated against it in time to the throbbing beat, while the one in white – Michael - stayed expressionless, his eyes dark and seductive as he pressed his back to the pole, knees spread wide as he snapped his hips up in a pantomime of fucking. Then they circled back to each other, Lucifer surging forward to seize Michael’s tie, dragging it out of the white waistcoat, yanking it like a leash as he walked backwards, hips swaying, until Michael was forced to his knees, and Lucifer bent over backwards, legs on either side of Michael’s head, thrusting his hips up towards his mouth, head thrown back in ecstasy as if he was actually getting blown.

Eggsy forced himself to look away, shame burning on his cheeks and his cock twitching eagerly in his trousers at the sight. When he peeked back again, he saw that clothes had started to come off; Lucifer was down a waistcoat – nothing under it, like the shirt had been torn away – and a sparkly red G-string with a snaking devil’s tail connected to it, while Michael was bare-chested and still in his trousers, his tie wrapped like a leash now around Lucifer’s throat as he bent him over and rolled his hips against his arse.

The strangest part of it all was that a lot of the patrons, Eggsy realized when he peered around the room, didn’t seem to be paying attention to the display onstage. Many of them were chatting casually with their dining companions, and one had thick stacks of documents spread out across his table, going over them with a pen.

As the song drew to a close, Eggsy looked back to the stage, where Michael had Lucifer on his knees, head tilted back by Michael’s palm on his forehead, eyes closed and bliss on his face as Michael scooped him up, forcing Lucifer to lean farther back and brace himself against the pole on the left end of the stage as Michael made a show of bouncing Lucifer against his crotch. Eggsy looked away, cheeks bright red and cock throbbing with interest, and he didn’t look back again until the song finished. Lucifer gave a sweeping bow, grinning out at the audience and blowing kisses as if there were a crowd of adoring, cheering fans instead of a handful of uninterested businessmen, and Michael nodded shortly, still expressionless, and together they left the stage.

As they did so, Morgana started up again. “That was Michael and Lucifer, and aren’t they just the best together? Like I always say, a little slice of heaven and a little bit of hell makes the world go ‘round. But if they didn’t tickle your fancy then our next performer just might. She might look sweet as a kitten, but don’t let that fool you. She’s as fierce as any pussy cat. Introducing: Little Miss Foxy.”

Eggsy almost snorted at the name, and he actually did when she strutted out onstage and he got a look at what she was wearing. She had an oversized, fluffy feather boa wrapped around her neck, bright orange and black to match the minidress she was wearing, patterned to look like a tiger’s stripes. Eggsy was shocked she wasn’t wearing a tail like the last guy. She struck a pose centre stage, hip cocked out, a confident smirk on her face, and then the music started.

As the lighting abruptly flashed to a deep red, Eggsy recognized the aggressive opening strains of Nickleback’s “Animals” and blinked in surprise as, instead of something sultry and teasing, playing up the ‘cat’ angle, Foxy ripped herself out of the dress to reveal leather underneath, the harness covering only the most obvious bits and leaving most of her skin exposed to the air.

She was shockingly flexible and commanded a lot more attention than the last act had. Eggsy watched as a man near the stage stared, open-mouthed, as Foxy dropped down to a crouch in front of him, crawling to the edge of the stage and rolling onto her back, knees spread, head hanging over the side so her long hair and the boa swung in a loose curtain as she arched her hips up into the beat. She shot him a wink before flipping – almost literally – back onto her feet, bending low and sliding her hands up her legs as she straightened up, flashing a coy smile over her shoulder. She took a running leap, and got herself up on the pole, clinging with her legs as she dropped upside down, wrapping the boa around the pole for extra support – or possibly just to run her hands lewdly up and down. Eggsy pressed a hand down against his lap, half-wondering if it was weird for him to be getting off on it, knowing his almost-boyfriend would be up next.

Well, if Jesse hadn’t wanted him to get off on ‘Little Miss Foxy’ or any of the other performers, he probably wouldn’t have brought him to a strip club. Or, at least, he’d have told Eggsy to get there right before his set.

The club was starting to fill up, mostly with men but also a few women, nearly all of them unable to tear their eyes away from the stage as Foxy cracked her boa like a whip, coiling it around her wrists and arching them over her head, clinging to the pole as she dropped down with her legs spread, her eyes closed and her face contorted into a mimicry of orgasm before she slid away again, half-crawling as she prowled to the edge of the stage, her eyes fixed on a woman in the front row as she rolled her hips to the beat. Eggsy was pretty sure the woman was about to faint at the attention.

If he was right about the song length, Foxy was almost done onstage. As the closing cords rang out, Foxy dropped easily into a split, then swung her legs around and shot a coy smile to the audience, pantomiming a growl, batting out with a hand like a paw. She pushed herself to her feet, hips swaying as she strutted off without so much as a backwards glance.

The lights pulsed, shifting from red back to blue and then to a duller yellow, and Eggsy swallowed hard. Watching Foxy or the devil and angel guys dance was one thing; knowing he was about to see the guy he wanted to date come out onstage and do the same thing was another. He braced himself, willing his half-hard cock to go back to sleep as Morgana came back on, “Animal indeed, ladies and gentlemen. Our Little Miss Foxy is just the cat’s meow, isn’t she folks? Don’t you worry, you’ll see her again tonight when all our lovely performers start their rounds, but for now, I want to introduce you to our third act of the night. He hasn’t been with us that long, but the crowd already loves him. Here he is, back in the saddle and ready for another round, our very own imported American cowboy, Tequila!”

Eggsy choked on his tongue as the opening sequence of “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy” echoed around the room and Jesse…no,  _ Tequila _ galloped to centre stage, two fake pistols drawn, squinting out over the bandana covering his mouth. A cowboy hat sat cocked on his head, and he wore a classic fringed vest over a slightly puffy shirt, a thick leather belt with a comically large silver buckle holding up what looked like jeans with a gun holster strapped to either hip. He didn’t look so much like a cowboy as he did a caricature of one, but as Tequila raised his weapons and fired just in time for the twanging country song to truly start, Eggsy was surprised to feel his cock twitch in his trousers.

Tequila twirled his guns, holstering them and shoving the bandana down, shooting the audience a grin and a wink as he planted his feet apart and started to move to the music.

Eggsy’s mouth fell open. Tequila gyrated his hips to the beat, thumbs hooked into his belt to call attention to his crotch before he turned abruptly, following the shift in pace of the song, and grabbed for the nearest pole, hauling himself up with one arm and then dropping to the floor again, humping it obscenely before arching back and tearing at his shirt. It came apart easily, sliding out from under the vest like it was clearly designed to do, and the vest fell open as the buttons popped, exposing his bare chest. Tequila slid a hand down his abs, shiny and defined under the light, and Eggsy licked his lips subconsciously, leaning forward until the table was digging into his stomach.

Tequila rolled himself upright again, the movement fluid as he got his hands around the pole again, fucking against it before wrapping one leg around it and using it for balance as he bent over backwards, fingers skating over his toned stomach again as they reached for his belt-buckle. Eggsy could almost hear the snap as it came undone and Tequila jerked it out, swinging off of the pole with it between his legs, lips parted obscenely as he rocked his hips against the scrap of leather before discarding it and moving towards centre stage again.

The whole room seemed to be scooting closer, transfixed by the seductive movements as Tequila dropped onto his back, hips springing up sharply into the air as he yanked at the front of his vest, and Eggsy had zero trouble picturing himself astride those strong thighs, bouncing up and down in time with Tequila’s thrusts. He shoved a hand into his lap again, this time not to fight it but to rub at his trapped erection, fully hard and aching at the display before him.

As if he could sense it, Tequila slid up to his knees and locked eyes with Eggsy – or, at least, it looked that way from across the room. The vest dropped as he rolled his shoulders back, reaching up to yank off the bandana and rub it across his abs and then lower, pushing it inside his jeans. Eggsy’s mouth watered as Tequila made a show of jerking himself with it beneath his trousers, then pulled it out and whipped it in his direction. It missed by a long shot, but it made Eggsy grip his dick a little tighter, trying to keep control of himself. He couldn’t think, could only watch as Tequila hauled himself to his feet again, turning his back on them as he bent and ran his hands up the backs of his legs, grabbing his own arse before moving his hands to the front of his jeans and tearing them and the holsters away in one swift movement, exposing his mostly-bare arse.

When he turned around, a sound somewhere between a laugh and a moan got caught in Eggsy’s throat: Tequila’s thong was sequined, patterned to look like the American flag, and it strained to contain Tequila’s cock, allowed Eggsy – and everyone else in the room – to goggle at the thick bulge. As if that wasn’t enough, Tequila gripped it, rocking into his hand crudely, and then winked.

The rest of his routine blurred for Eggsy; there was definitely more humping the floor and more work on the pole, but Eggsy’s brain was completely fried at the imagery. His hand was still on his cock, but he wasn’t rubbing anymore, and when Tequila ended his routine on his knees, head thrown back, sweat dripping off his body in thick rivulets that Eggsy desperately wanted to lick, he managed to find enough brain cells left to remove his hand from his lap.

Tequila got to his feet amid whistles, tipping his cowboy hat at the audience –  _ and how had it not fallen off during all that  _ – and collecting the remainder of his clothing, still just in the thong and hat as he sauntered offstage, throwing one last glance in Eggsy’s direction.

Eggsy sat back and tried to remember how to breathe.

“Wasn’t that a treat, folks?” Morgana crooned. “I’ll bet you he doesn’t burn when he goes down. We’ve got one more number for you this evening before the floor show starts, but don’t worry, you’ll see plenty more on this stage before the night is out.” She started to go into the next person’s intro, but Eggsy tuned her out, slumping against the table with his head in his hands. He needed to think.

He couldn’t have said anything about the fourth number, only vaguely picking up the swelling baseline of rock. Instead, Tequila’s number played over and over again in his head, snippets of the routine flashing through Eggsy’s mind as he tried to organize his thoughts. His fried onion was cold, but he kept picking at it anyway just for something to do with his hands.

Eventually, the fourth number ended, and Morgana introduced the floor show, the lights turning blue again as slower, easy rock music spilled out of the speakers. Eggsy watched as the performers strutted out on stage again, all in some alternate version of their costumes from earlier. They climbed down, Foxy sliding right into the lap of the woman she’d been eyeing during her number. Michael and Lucifer both headed in the same direction as a table signalled them over, Lucifer climbing eagerly into the lap of a giggling woman while Michael straddled her male partner.

It took Eggsy a minute to locate Tequila, who had made himself comfortable astride some businessman. He swatted playfully at the man’s hands as they reached for his arse, now clad in chaps, and when he glanced up he locked eyes with Eggsy, who felt a shocking stab of arousal and jealousy, twined together into some more complicated emotion Eggsy couldn’t name. Tequila rocked forward, grinding his hips lazily in time with the music, and leaned in to whisper something in the man’s ear. Something in Eggsy’s chest seized, and then it released as Tequila slid out of the other man’s lap and strode towards him instead.

He leaned against the side of the booth. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Eggsy managed.

“What’d you think?”

Eggsy’s mouth was painfully dry. “I, uh…”

Tequila reached out and Eggsy gave him his hands without thinking, allowing Tequila to pull him to his feet. “Let’s go in the back. Follow me.”

As Eggsy stumbled after him, he saw he wasn’t the only one following a stripper. Foxy had snagged her girl, and the fourth performer Eggsy couldn’t remember the name of was escorting a blushing younger man. There were a couple of girls on the poles now, their costumes less gimmicky and more generic, dancing along to the music.

It took a minute for Eggsy to realize what was happening as Tequila guided him into a room and closed the door behind them. He pushed Eggsy gently onto a chair in the centre of the room, leaving Eggsy to stare at him as he closed the heavy curtain over the large glass windows looking out into the club. It also gave him a chance to take in Tequila’s costume change; he still looked the part of a cowboy, but in a different way now, with his leather chaps over what looked to be another pair of sequined underwear. He was bare-chested, but still had the cowboy hat, though this one had a cord that allowed it to hang around his neck as he pushed it back off his head, and boots.

“Ain’t I supposed to pay for this?” Eggsy asked, and Tequila turned and frowned at him. Eggsy gestured around the room. “This is for private shows, right? You take a guy, or girl I guess, back here, and you do a little dance for them or whatever, and they pay extra.”

“Yeah, something like that,” Tequila said. He folded his arms over his bare chest, and Eggsy was startled to see his posture become defensive. “Don’t worry about it, alright? I’ve got it taken care of.”

Eggsy blinked. “You’re…paying to dance for me? Or am I totally misreading this situation?”

“Do you want me to dance for you? We could just talk if you’d like.”

Eggsy squirmed. He didn’t have a full erection anymore, but his cock wasn’t exactly soft, and Tequila’s eyes flicked down to his lap and then to Eggsy’s face again. When Eggsy didn’t answer, he nodded and made the decision himself, flicking on the music. It was still country, Eggsy was pretty sure, but sounded more like a rock blend, and it wasn’t something he recognized.

Tequila stepped between his legs, and Eggsy spread them wider to accommodate his frame, breath catching as Tequila took his hands and guided them to his hips. “I thought I wasn’t allowed to touch? Or is that something you let people do back here?”

“Not people,” Tequila murmured, beginning to rock his hips in time with the music, starting a slow, dirty grind. “Just you.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It’s the truth. I told you before. Technically I shouldn’t even let you do it, but…” Tequila gave a little shrug, and then used the back of the chair to haul himself up into Eggsy’s lap, straddling him and leaning back to better grind against his crotch, Eggsy shuddering at the teasing pressure against his cock.

“What?” Eggsy said. “I’m special?” He hadn’t meant the words to be quite so bitter, but businessman popped back into his head and he couldn’t help it.

“You are,” Tequila said, and Eggsy looked away. Tequila stopped moving, sitting upright and planting his hands on the back of the chair. “Eggsy. Listen to me. I don’t just do this for anybody. But for you I’m really trying. I don’t know how to convince you that this is all okay, but I want to. Because I want there to be something to us.”

“Tequila-“ Eggsy started, and the man on top of him flinched visibly. Eggsy frowned, and then understood. He wrapped his arms around Jesse’s waist and pressed their foreheads together, amending, “Jesse, my thoughts on this ain’t gonna change because you bring me back here and give me a lapdance of whatever, you get me? I appreciate the effort, but that ain’t your best bet here.”

“Then what is?” Jesse asked. “What can I do to make this okay for you?”

“Why do you do it?”

Jesse frowned. “What? Stripping?”

Eggsy nodded.

Jesse tilted his head, contemplating. Finally, he said, “Alright. Before I did this sort of stuff, back in Kentucky, I worked in the rodeo. Not the cool stuff, though, riding horses and the like. I was a rodeo clown. It was kind of a family thing, but I hated it. I hated people laughing at me. I heard too much of it, you know? I wasn’t great in school, couldn’t focus, never got good grades. Kids would pick on me, call me stupid, say I was white trash. They’d laugh at me. And it made me miserable, made me hate school even more. So I dropped out. Started doing the rodeo work full time, but it felt like more of the same. I was the runt, and I made people laugh at me, and it sucked. But then when I was about sixteen I hit a growth spurt. Took a little while to grow into it, but suddenly I wasn’t just a shrimpy little guy who got picked on anymore. The dancing wasn’t something I planned, I just kind of got swept up in it. On one of the rodeo stops one of the local dancers kind of took me under his wing, brought me in to the show. I was eighteen, I was looking for excitement, and when I got up on that stage, no one was laughing anymore. They didn’t think I was stupid, or white trash, or whatever. They wanted me, wanted my body, wanted my moves, and that felt…shit, it felt fucking awesome.” Jesse sighed, a little puff of breath against Eggsy’s lips. “That’s why I do it. I love it, love dancing, knowing people are watching and wanting me, knowing they can’t have me if I don’t want them to. It’s…I dunno, it’s kind of liberating that way.”

“If I asked you to pick,” Eggsy said softly, “you’d chose the dancing, wouldn’t you?”

Jesse nodded. He stood up. “I like you, Eggsy, I like you a lot. But if you asked me that, I’d pick dancing in a heartbeat.”

Eggsy stood up too. “’Cause if you were really that important to me, if I valued your happiness, I wouldn’t ask, right?” He wrapped his arms around Jesse’s waist so he couldn’t go anywhere. The music was still playing in the background, forgotten. “I’m not asking you to choose,” he said. “I don’t want to make you pick between things that make you happy, ‘specially ‘cause we don’t know how things are gonna work out between us. I…I think I’d need some rules. Nothing too restricting or nothing, just something to make me feel a little bit better about it. Put in some distance.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to feel like one of your customers.”

Jesse blinked, “Baby-“

Eggsy shook his head, “No, Jesse, you literally brought me back here like one of you clients or whatever, and it’s fine, ‘cause I get why you did it, but I don’t want to feel like that’s how we’re gonna work. I don’t want to be with you ‘cause I want to bang a stripper for free, you get me? I want to be with you because yeah, you’re hot, but you’re also funny, and you ain’t stupid, Jesse. You’re smart, and fuck anyone who ever told you otherwise.”

“Okay.” Jesse nodded, derailing Eggsy’s rant with a tiny grin. “Alright. If you say so. And if you need some rules, I can work with that. Just as long as they don’t interfere with my work, you understand?”

“Of course,” Eggsy agreed easily. “That ain’t a problem.”

“So, we good?” Jesse asked.

“Yeah. We’re good. I want to give this a shot.”

Jesse’s grin widened, and he draped his arms over Eggsy’s shoulders. “Well then. Since you don’t want to feel like a customer, just let me turn off the music.”

“Hang on.” Eggsy flushed. “I mean…you went through all this trouble anyway…”

“You want a dance, baby?” Jesse rubbed his nose against Eggsy’s, his fingers stroking teasing circles against Eggsy’s shoulder blades.

“I mean…I know I said…but…”

Jesse laughed. He backed Eggsy back up until he sat down again with a little huff of surprise. “But since I’ve got you here anyway,” he teased, finishing the sentence much more eloquently than Eggsy would have managed. “You mind if I touch you, baby? Think that might remind you that you ain’t paying for this?”

Eggsy nodded enthusiastically, still blushing, and Jesse reached for the remote. The song had faded out ages ago, and Jesse cued up another one, this time a little closer to hip-hop than the others. Eggsy raised his eyebrows, shooting a meaningful look at Jesse’s get-up, and Jesse grinned. “What? You missed the chance to have a proper cowboy.”

“Pretty sure I’m gonna have one anyway,” Eggsy shot back, and Jesse winked, backing up across the room, making Eggsy whine at the distance.

He shut up quickly, and Jesse shucked off the boots and chaps, leaving him in just the sequined underwear – and the hat, of course. He started to dance, slow and sensual at first, and then picking up in pace as the music sped up, until abruptly he dropped to the floor, rocking his hips down and grinning up at Eggsy, who felt his cock pulse at the imagery. Jesse crawled towards him, and Eggsy parted his knees so Jesse could push between them, running his hands up Eggsy’s thighs as he nuzzled against his crotch. Eggsy let out a shuddering breath, and then Jesse pushed himself up, turning around so he could straddle Eggsy backwards, wrapping an arm back around Eggsy’s neck as he ground his arse back against Eggsy’s cock. Eggsy couldn’t stop his hips from jerking up, and Jesse moaned throatily, grabbing one of Eggsy’s hands and guiding it down his chest.

The feeling of warm skin beneath his fingertips had nothing on how it felt when Jesse pressed their joined hands to his fabric-covered cock. It felt even bigger than it looked, and Eggsy let out a low groan that Jesse matched when Eggsy pressed down against it, trying to wrap his hand around the girth. He was unsuccessful.

“Are you hard?” Eggsy asked, his voice oddly pitched.

“Yeah,” Jesse breathed. “Shit, wait.”

The awkward fumbling somehow made it all the more endearing, and Jesse blushed as he fished something out of his shorts. He shoved it away before Eggsy could get a good look at it. “They like us to wear it,” he mumbled. “Keeps us from getting ideas about rubbing off on the patrons, or some shit. Hang on.” He stood up and turned around, Eggsy’s knees still between his legs. He took Eggsy’s hand again, coaxing it away from his cock and behind him, Eggsy obligingly slipping his fingers beneath the waistband of the underwear. Tequila carded his fingers through Eggsy’s hair, and when Eggsy looked up at him, there were traces of the ‘Tequila’ smirk lingering on his lips.

Eggsy moved his hands to Jesse’s waist, pulling him forward and encouraging him to straddle Eggsy’s lap again, properly this time, and the seduction faded from Jesse’s face, leaving a shy smile that nearly broke Eggsy’s heart. “Better?” Eggsy asked.

Jesse nodded, ducking his head and blushing prettily. Eggsy used his grip to guide Jesse into a lazy grind, rocking his hips against Eggsy’s. Jesse leaned down and pressed their lips together, and unbelievably sweet kiss in contrast with everything else. Eggsy reached for Jesse’s cock again, pressing against Eggsy’s stomach through the thin layer of fabric separating them. Jesse trembled as Eggsy slid his hand under the waistband again, this time down the front, and now Jesse’s cock was a little easier to circle, to stroke, but it was still huge, big enough that Eggsy had to strain to touch his fingertips together.

“Fuck,” he muttered against Jesse’s lips. “Is it too cheesy to say you’re hung like a horse?”

Jesse laughed, and Eggsy couldn’t help but grin at the sound. “Is that good or bad?”

“Def good,” Eggsy said quickly. “Jesus, babe, the things I’m gonna do to you when I take you home…”

“Promises, promises,” Jesse murmured, and claimed Eggsy’s lips again.

Eggsy let go of Jesse’s cock long enough to fumble with his own trousers, pulling his cock out so he could press it against Jesse’s. Jesse got the idea, and he licked his palm and wrapped his hand around them both. His hands were bigger than Eggsy’s, but it still wasn’t enough to encircle the both of them, so Eggsy helped, spreading the precum leaking from the head of his cock down their lengths to slick them, Jesse rocking eagerly into their joined grip.

The tide had been building in Eggsy for ages, and it didn’t take long for it to swell up again. It was an embarrassingly short amount of time before he came, spurting over their fingers messily, Jesse grunting and following suit. They sat like that for a long moment, pressed together, and then Eggsy started to giggle. Jesse cocked his head, frowning in amused confusion. “What?”

“You know, all things considered, that was a shit lapdance.”

Jesse blinked, and then he burst out laughing, shoving playfully at Eggsy’s shoulder with his clean hand. “Fuck off. You came, didn’t you?”

“Mmm, yeah I did.” Eggsy glanced around for something to clean his fingers on. Jesse slid out of his lap, rummaging around in the back of the room until he pulled out a box of tissues, passing it to Eggsy after taking a couple for himself.

He jerked his head towards the door. “Go on. We’ve probably been here a little longer than we should have anyway.”

Eggsy got unsteadily to his feet, fixing his trousers. He looked back at Jesse, who was likewise getting dressed. “Text me when you get off of work, yeah? I’ll send you my address, maybe?”

“You want me to spend the night?” Jesse sounded part hopeful, part incredulous.

Eggsy shrugged. “Seems kind of poor form not to invite you over, given we just shagged. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure we’re dating now?”

Jesse barked out a laugh, swiping at Eggsy. “Yeah, yeah, we’re dating. I’ll text you.”

Eggsy blew him a kiss, earning himself another laugh, and then strutted out of the room. Even the bouncer’s sceptical look as he passed didn’t break his stride.

***

“Why Tequila?” Eggsy asked that night, curled up together in his bed. It was really too small for two adult men, but they made it fit, Eggsy not so much spooning Jesse as he was laying on top of his back.

Jesse made a muffled sound of confusion into the pillow, and Eggsy nuzzled into the back of his neck, pressing kisses into the skin. “No offense,” he said, “’cause I know you’re a stripper and all, and they ain’t exactly known for having clever names, but that’s kind of shit.”

Jesse let out a huff, more amused than annoyed. “I didn’t pick it, you know.”

“You didn’t?”

“Nope. Morgana, the MC? She pretty much runs the joint. She picks all the names.”

“No offense to Morgana,” Eggsy snorted, “but she sucks at naming shit.”

Jesse laughed, and when Eggsy peered around he saw that his boyfriend’s eyes were closed. “I ain’t gonna tell you otherwise.”

“Did she have a reason for Tequila, or just think it sounded good?”

“I dunno, because I make you wet and loose or some shit.” Jesse pressed his face deeper into the pillow. “Can I go to sleep now? I don’t know about you, but I’ve been exercising all night.”

Eggsy grinned. Sure, a lot of that ‘exercising’ came from dancing, but he could proudly claim that the rest of it came from the truly spectacular shag they’d had on his sofa about an hour ago. Or the one in the shower half an hour ago. Eggsy hadn’t come this much since he was a teenager, and the fact that his cock was a little sore after it all was the only reason he didn’t try for another one on the bed.

He nipped gently at the corner of Jesse’s jaw, and then settled more comfortably one top of him. “Goodnight, babe.”

“Night, Eggsy,” Jesse mumbled.

Eggsy could really get used to falling asleep like that.

***

“Hey guys,” Eggsy knocked on the dressing room door, figuring that it was safe since it was open. He’d caught James and Alistair shagging here once, and that wasn’t something he ever needed to see again. Thankfully, it was also the most explicit thing Eggsy had ever encountered backstage. Jesse had admitted once, when Eggsy had asked, that the drug thing had been true, at least in America, at least when he was dancing there, but he’d assured Eggsy he hadn’t been part of that particular scene since his twenties. This club didn’t even allow them to perform on drugs, and they were tested for them.

Alistair looked up from the mirror, smiling at Eggsy as he stopped adjusting the white harness strapped across his chest. “Eggsy. A pleasure.”

From across the room, lounging in his armchair in just his red thong, a pair of horns, and a harness to match Alistair’s, James gave Eggsy a slow smile and a lazy wave. Eggsy waved back, and then looked to Alistair again, “Have you seen Roxy? She’s not in her dressing room.”

“Does Jesse know you stopped by tonight?” James asked. “He might know. You could ask him when he gets offstage.”

Eggsy flushed. “Was kind of trying to be sneaky about it,” he admitted. “I want to surprise him with something, and I was hoping Rox could help me.”

“Well, I’m sure my niece is around here somewhere,” Alistair said noncommittally, and the fact that Roxy stripped at the same club as her uncles did would never stop being weird to Eggsy. “Her routine would have just finished so she’ll have to come back if she wants to change before the floor show. Try again in another minute. It’s likely she’s off with Olivia.”

“Ta, bruv.” Eggsy left them too it, making his way back towards Roxy’s dressing room. He knew Morgana wouldn’t be thrilled if she caught him back here, but the MC and owner of The Chelsea Club had a policy of turning a grudging blind eye to Eggsy’s presence backstage, so long as he didn’t disrupt the show. It didn’t hurt that in addition to Jesse, Roxy, Alistair, and James had all taken a shining to him. Olivia he wasn’t quite as sure about, but they seemed on good enough terms, even if he couldn’t get a read on her.

Sure enough, Roxy was in front of her door, her arms wrapped around Olivia’s neck, still in her sexy kitten costume from the night’s routine as she kissed her girlfriend. Eggsy cleared his throat, and they broke apart, Roxy grinning and she nudged Olivia back towards the club door. “Go on, baby. I’ll see you later.”

Olivia gave her one last kiss, then nodded at Eggsy. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

Eggsy watched as she straightened her suit jacket, and then marched back the way Eggsy had come. He looked back at Roxy, whose eyes were trained on her girlfriend’s arse, and he rolled his own. “Having fun?”

“Mmhm,” Roxy’s grin widened, and she opened her dressing room door, beckoning him in after her. “What’s the point of working at the same strip club as my girlfriend if I can’t tease her relentlessly?”

“Fair enough,” Eggsy said, not even fazed anymore as Roxy started to shed what little clothing she was wearing. They’d gotten to be pretty good friends after Jesse had introduced them – something Eggsy would never be able to thank him enough for, because Roxy was aces – and after that first night he’d come to the club the thrill of seeing her basically naked had kind of lost its appeal. Now it was more like having an almost weirdly close sister (but not in an incest kind of way). “Rox, I need you to do me a huge favour.”

Roxy raised her eyebrows and folded her arms, turning to look at him. Taking her seriously in just a leather harness, whiskers, and stilettos should have been difficult, but Eggsy had seen her routine with the riding crop, not to mention gone to her fitness MMA class with her a few times, and knowing that she could kick his arse if she wanted to made it a lot easier for him. “What sort of favour?” she asked.

“It’s my anniversary with Jesse next week,” he explained. “A year together’s a big deal, you know? And I want to do something really special for him.”

Roxy smiled fondly, and Eggsy knew he’d hooked her. Roxy was a sucker for a good romance, hers or anybody else’s, and she routinely told Eggsy how good she thought he was for Jesse. “I’m listening…”

Eggsy flushed. Now for the hard part. Slowly, he asked, “Do you think you could teach me some moves?”

Roxy blinked, a slow grin spreading over her face. “Eggsy Unwin! Are you asking me to teach you how to strip for your stripper boyfriend?”

“Shut up!” Eggsy whined, embarrassed. He nudged Roxy’s shoulder, and it was a testament to her familiarity with heels that she didn’t so much as rock on them. “Please? I think he’d really like it. Just some basic stuff? So I don’t embarrass myself?”

“Alright,” Roxy relented, though she hadn’t put up much of a fight. “But only because you and Jesse are my best friends.”

“Thanks, Rox.” Eggsy hugged her. “You’re the best.”

“You’d better believe it.” She nudged him off her and sat down in front of her mirror, carefully removing her whiskers. “Come over to my place this weekend. Olivia’s having dinner with her dads, so we’ll have the place to ourselves. I could even invite Uncle James, if you’d like.”

Eggsy shuddered, shaking his head. “You know I love him, but I’m pretty sure he’d eat me alive if he knew I was doing this.”

Roxy laughed. “You’re probably right. Hand me my ears, please? They’re over on the coffee table.”

Eggsy fetched them and handed them over. A year ago, if anyone had told him he’d not only be dating a stripper, but friends with a bunch of them too, he’d have told them they were mental. But here he was. He and Jesse had been talking about moving in together, and last week when they’d celebrated Jesse’s promotion at Huntsman Jesse had talked about maybe cutting down the nights he worked at the club. Eggsy had told him to do whatever made him happiest, which had resulted in a laugh and Jesse doing him on the kitchen counter.

It wasn’t the life Eggsy had expected, but he wouldn’t have traded it for anything.

 


End file.
